Abusive relationships can be dangerous. You know the feeling. You feel alone and isolated like no one can understand what you’re going through. Your partner may have told you that your feelings are wrong or exaggerated, or they’ve made you feel you’re crazy for thinking anything is amiss.
They might even have threatened to take away something valuable from you if they find out that you’ve spoken to anyone about their behavior—like your children, your job, or the house. If any of these scenarios sound familiar, it could be time to get some help figuring out how best to deal with a toxic relationship like this one.
This guide will help you with how you can deal with such abusive relationships.
Get Help From Friends and Family
Friends and family are the people who love you and want what’s best for you, even if that means telling you something that might be hard to hear. They can help you decide how to handle the situation, and they can help keep you safe until it’s resolved.
If your friend or family member is someone who has been in an abusive relationship before, she may be able to tell you about how she dealt with it. He or she may also have ideas about where to go for support or advice. Even if your friend doesn’t experience abuse in relationships, she may still help you guide in right away and act as your support.
Communicating with your friend is the key. This communication can help you get all kinds of support. According to an article published in the BMJ journal, violence against women increased during Covid-19.
Thus, many women were already facing mental health issues due to isolation from the pandemic, which was topped by abusive relationships. Friends can help a lot in such situations. According to data from THE CONVERSATION website, family and friends played a vital role in helping these women during the difficult time of Covid-19.
Save Money for a Rainy Day
The abuser may deny you access to bank accounts, credit cards, and cash. 99% of domestic violence cases involve financial abuse. He or she may also confiscate your paycheck or take away your car keys so that you have no means of transportation other than his or her car. Hence, it is vital to save up for such a day.
Build up an emergency stash by putting aside small amounts from each paycheck until you have enough savings to cover rent for 6 months. This will buy time if he does try to leave without paying bills, etc.
Seek Professional Help
Victims of domestic abuse are at a higher risk for mental health problems. If you’re in an abusive relationship and need help, there are many ways to get it. One of the most important is finding a therapist specializing in domestic violence in your vicinity. You can look up therapists in your area by typing “domestic violence therapist” into Google. This will help you find the right counselor near you.
You should also hire someone with the right skills and expertise to help you out. You should go through the details of the counselor on the internet or his or her website, if available. Look for the studies the counselor has completed. For example, if you are in Scottsdale, you can look for someone like Mandy Higginbotham.
She has a Master’s degree from Phoenix Seminary and has years of experience assisting her clients through their emotional journey, trauma, anxiety, and depression. You can look for someone like counselor Mandy Higginbotham for your support. Remember that you should ensure to research the knowledge and expertise of the counselor you choose.
Make a Safety Plan
If you are in an abusive relationship, it can be challenging to think about the future. You may feel like your partner has complete control over your life and that they will always be there to hurt you. However, it is essential to remember that this is not true. You do have choices, and there are things that you can do right now to help protect yourself and get out of danger if need be. One way of doing this is making a safety plan ahead of time so that when the time comes, you’ll know what steps to take right away so that nothing bad happens while trying to get away from your abuser.
- Make a list of safe places where no one knows either party would ever go
- Have code words with friends/family members who could call 911 if necessary
- Put all critical information into one place: phone numbers for emergency services, license plates for personal belongings, keys for cars/houses/etc., or money for transportation needs or bail
Understand Why You Stay
There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships. They may stay because of fear, love, guilt, financial reasons, or children. Another reason is religious reasons and addiction. Similarly, more than 40% of domestic violence victims stay in abusive situations because they fear for their pet’s safety.
Some people deny they have a problem until they get help and leave the relationship. However, it is vital to understand why you are staying in a relationship. If this is something, you can manage or not. If you can’t manage everything at once, you can seek financial support from someone to set yourself free.
Abusive relationships are a common thing. According to data, there are two deaths weekly in Arizona alone due to domestic violence. If we talk about the entire USA, data shows that nearly 1 in every 4 women and 1 in every 10 men have experienced some form of domestic abuse at some point in their life. The numbers show that domestic violence is a growing problem, but that does not mean you can’t do anything about it.
Remember, abuse is never your fault. If you’re in a situation where you’re being hurt by someone who claims to love and care about you, it’s important to remember that this isn’t something that can be fixed on your own. It’s time to take action and get the support you need so that one day soon, all the pain will be behind you.